Do You Know the Feeling?

Haven’t you often heard people say, “I knew I shouldn’t have done that, but I did it anyway,” or “I wanted to do that, but something held me back,”? Whether they did or didn’t, both situations often involve “regret” for not taking a path we desired. We may have taken the action due to family obligations; advice from family, friends, or expert advisers; or, due to fear, such as fear of failure or some other real or perceived danger.

To avoid, “I knew I shouldn’t have done that, but I did it anyway”, it helps to know how long you have to make a decision. How long will the potential course of action be an option? It is possible for more desirable options to emerge during this time period? Are there actions you could take doing this time to foster more desirable options? Write them down, and do what you can to make them happen!

To avoid “I wanted to do that, but something held me back,” define very specifically what you would like to have in your life? Do you know the rewards of taking the action? Have you determined the consequences? Are your fears real or imagined? What strategies and how much time do you have to mitigate the risk?

But, what if you have already taken the action? How do you get past the regret? Work on accepting the experience. For me, that means accepting the situation,” as meant to be” and “moving on.” It is so easy to get distracted by past regret, even though “dreaming and visualizing” a different future is so much more fun. Just take a few minutes over the holidays to remember how to use your imagination. Use a picture board, drawing tool, or any type of recording device, or just write it down!

-Kaye Kendrick

Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.”- George S. Patton, U.S. Army General